Sixty million Americans can't be wrong

Ah, but which sixty million? From The Onion:

According to an eye-opening report released Tuesday, 60 million people whom you would never talk to, would never be in a position to talk to, and wouldn't even be able to talk to if you tried will be voting for the other candidate in this year's presidential election, and there is nothing you can do about it....

The report also confirmed that even if you were able to communicate with these other citizens, your passion and conviction would never be enough to convince them not to vote for their candidate, just as they would never be able to convince you not to vote for your candidate, and just as nobody can convince anybody else that what they believe to be right is wrong, regardless of how clear the evidence to the contrary may be.

Because, in the end, there can be only one. One form of persuasive argument, I mean. And that one is, argument from authority. And that authority is me. (Or, in the case of you, you.)

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